Starting weight: 202
Today's weight: 194.4
Total lost: 7.6 (gained 2 lbs since last entry)
OK, here we go again. Had a bit of a setback this last week, but it's not turned out as awful as I expected when I stepped on the scale this morning. On Saturday I took Anna into the ER with a fever and cold-like symptoms, expecting to get our antibiotics and go home with a decent neutrophil count (the infection-fighting white blood cells). We had never been admitted for low counts and fever since her diagnosis week in May 2009, a fact that I'm now finding is quite rare. Long story, but her Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) was 100 when we got to the ER, so they admitted her and started two IV antibiotics, we ended up staying 4 days and I ate all the hospital food (which was actually really good and they had a huge gluten-free menu), but I ate everything I haven't eaten for a month and a half - starches, sugars, coffee, dairy, chocolate, you name it...other than gluten I ate it all, and in large quantities.
Something triggered a stress response in me, I know it's understandable under the circumstances, but I was interested to observe my own behavior - almost as if I were on the outside looking in. As annoying as it is to see my behavior and still not do anything to change it, I consider it a new, important step in my self-awareness. Of course it would have been ideal if I hadn't had that trigger with food in the first place - my goal is to change those patterns of responding to stress with food. But at least I could see what I was doing, for the most part. I was shocked at how easily I slipped back into the excuses, the idea that I am suffering right now so I "deserve" to have the pleasure this chocolate brings me, for example. What's up with that?? This whole experience was interesting - just reaffirmed the notion that I am totally powerless if left to my own devices, and I need to rely on and trust that God will give me the strength and power I need to make the desired changes in my life.
I better go, I'm thankful that Anna is doing better and we're home, I went shopping today and have surrounded myself with good, healthy, yummy choices. Looking forward to feeling more energy and better digestion again (those lattes and milk chocolate don't agree with my tummy!). Thanks for reading and keeping up! I'll update again soon, until then I'm going to just catch up on my "regular" life. Hoping for some weight loss next time!
Okay, I commented on the last post, not realizing there was a new one... I need a manual for figuring out technology. I'm glad Anna is better and you are both home. Best wishes for a "good" food and weight loss week. And, as a friend said to me once, "I hope to see less of your next time I see you."
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